This Man

This is my first shot at free verse. Constructive feedback would be appreciated.

He sits at the foot of my bed
His words a river
Filling the empty lake
Of his daughter’s soul.
Those days when my spine quivers,
He becomes the mountain at my back.
When I worry myself into a knot
He is an ancient tree
His large trunk supporting me
And his broad canopy sheltering me.
On my worst days, he is
Laurel & Hardy and Abbot & Costello.
Some days my hope lags.
I can see his, a wildflower
hiding under the leaves.
He is a fierce wolf
curled up with his pups.
Why use so many words
When one will do?
Father.

2 thoughts on “This Man

  1. ‘I can see he’s a wildflower
    hiding under the leaves.
    He’s a fierce wolf
    curled up with his pups.
    Why use so many words
    When one will do?
    Father.’

    Good read, Cynthia. 🙂

    Like

  2. Rewrite based on feedback.

    He sits at the foot of my bed
    His words a river
    Filling the empty lake
    Of his daughter’s soul.
    Those days when my spine quivers,
    He becomes the mountain at my back.
    When I worry myself into a knot,
    He is the quiet evening soothing me.
    On my worst days, he is
    Laurel & Hardy and Abbot & Costello.
    On days when my hope lags,
    he shows me his, a wildflower
    hiding under the leaves.
    Why use so many words
    When one will do?
    Father.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s