“I’ll tell you what I want,” Jennifer sang, “what I really, really want.” She ran her fingers through her wet lupini beans and cradled a handful. She let the handful of beans slide into the boiling water and added the rest.
“I wanna really, really, really wanna zig-a-zig, ah…” she joined the chorus. She loved this song, and the summer of ’96 was real again. The excitement of getting a driver’s license was always under her skin, and the world was opening and showing all the directions she could go. Jennifer sank into the feelings and drank the joy like Kool-Aid.
Scary’s voice jerked her away and returned her to her drought existence. Scary sang, “Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it is…”
“That is the way it is,” she said to the Spice girls. “I learned that the winter of ’96. What’s yours is mine, and now I live by it.”
Her husband, William, had her on an allowance. Like she couldn’t make good decisions. She was in her 40s, for cripes sake! Well, dear, what’s yours is mine, soon enough.
“So tell me what you want, what you really, really want…” the Girls sang.
“I wanna really, really, really wanna zig-a-zig, ah…” she sang. And dig my husband’s grave, she added silently. The old man tried hard, but he still fucked like a seventy-year-old. Everything had it’s price, right? She had had a plan when she met him, and had been working it for the entire two years of their marriage.
How could I know? she practiced in her head. They came from my garden, and I cooked them like the recipe said. Lots of sobbing here and then between the sniffles and snot running down her face, I killed him! Aargh! Then plenty of histrionics and collapse to the floor.
The other key piece she’d been practicing was when she was asked, “Why didn’t you call 911?”
It was just a stomach ache. I was out for the day and the staff were off. He was like this when I got home. This could come before or after the how-could-I-know speech. If it came before…
“What’s for lunch?” William said.
Jennifer jumped in surprised. “My goodness! You startled me!”
“Cook can do this.”
“Yes dear, but she’s off today, and you know I like cooking. I’m making something special for you.”
Bio Corner
No, lupini cannot kill an adult. They are the seeds of the lupine plant, some variants of which have a high level of toxins. A young child, maybe 4 or younger could be killed. However, the symptoms are severe and any parent would be rushing their child to the ER, which would save their life.
L = lupine
Bearing Untold Stories 