Duck Duck Goose

How to fix a garden hose with a hole.

Step 1: Find duck tape.

Step 1a: Is it really called duck tape? Why would you tape a duck?

Step 2: Take DUCT tape (read the label, man!) to backyard.

Step 3: Wrap duct tape around spewing hole in hose.

Step 4: Get towel for soaked face.

Step 5: Turn off water. Note: step 5 should be step 1.

Step 6: Wrap duct tape around hole.

Step 7: Turn on water.

Step 8: Watch duct tape fly into air and land on lawn.

Step 9: Wrap hose with… no insert Step 5 here.

Step 10: Wrap hose with LOTS of duct tape.

Step 11: Turn on water.

Step 12: Watch duct tape expand.

Step 14: Damn, that’s a big water bubble.

Step 15: Yell as water jet from ruptured bubble hits eye.

Step 16: Use towel.

Step 17: Curse. A lot.

Step 18: Call dad. He actually has tools.

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