List

This is part of Just Jot it January (JusJoJan). Anything that we write, including things jotted down, can be posted. This was my shopping list on January 11.

• 2 x bottles of cherry coke
• 1 x M&M’s Family Size (with the zip closure)
• Beef jerky
• rice crackers
• water
• sushi
• Tums

Dull and somewhat unhealthy, but otherwise just an ordinary shopping list. Here’s the same list, but instead of the items, their purpose.

• Rocket fuel – keep me awake on the 8.5 h drive to Michigan
• Comfort food – eat while mourning or to prevent crying
• Beef jerky – add something healthy to the list and protein is always a good choice
• rice crackers – to keep the coke from boring a hole in my stomach (I hope)
• water – ’cause, well, beef jerky
• sushi – I don’t have time for lunch and I can eat this while I’m driving (Not true, as I learned on the trip)
• Tums – ’cause mom’s dying, and it really sucks

Mom did die that afternoon, hours before I made it to Michigan. My brother was with her.

Is it unbelievable that I’m posting this? Writing is one of my coping mechanisms. Better out than in. Maya Angelou and Ray Bradbury know a thing or two about that.

I only say when death slows others, you must leap to set up your diving board and dive head first into your typewriter.

Ray Bradbury

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

Maya Angelou

Don’t be sad. She had dementia and was disappearing in pieces. She’s done with that now and free from the trap of her body. I know where she is now is better than the most recent place she’d been.

Celebrate your loved ones here and now, and when the time comes to say goodbye, there will be no regrets.

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